Tag Archives: formula

We’re Fattening Up Our Baby with Beer

Well, the super fattening prescription formula backfired. After almost two weeks, baby lost weight because he cries bloody murder whenever we try to give him the bottle. So now we have to use a feeding tube to pump the super fattening prescription formula up his nose and into his little tummy. [Note to couch potato dads: we have confirmed it — you can use the feeding tube to pump beer directly into your belly (TV remote not included with feeding tube).]

Baby celebrates his 9 month birthday with a 2 day stay at the hospital
baby with feeding tube at the children hospital

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Baby Hates Ice Cream, Loves Cardboard and Plastic

I can’t get baby to eat anything (not even ice cream). Yet every time I turn around, he’s sticking something in his mouth. The latest news on his Failure To Thrive Syndrome (not related to his seizures or H1N1): baby has to stop breast feeding and take prescription formula instead. If that doesn’t work, the doctor is going to stick a tube up baby’s nose so we can pump the prescription formula into his system when he’s asleep at night. And if that doesn’t work, they are going to hospitalize him and feed him via an IV. Oh yeah, they’re also going to stick a teeny weeny camera inside his body to see if there’s anything wrong internally.

baby eats everything except food