Daddy Forever Dad Blog » Fatherhood

World’s Greatest TV Dad Contest

Daddy Forever — Tue, 24 May 2011 19:34:30 +0000

Man of the House, an online resource for dads, is hosting the “World’s Greatest TV Dad” contest. The bracket-style competition features 32 father figures from television shows. Voters can vote weekly for their favorite dad in each pairing. The dad with the most votes in each match-up advances until there is only one dad left on June 17th. The TV dads were selected by the editorial team of Man of the House. They used four criteria for their selection: (1) shared household responsibilities, (2) relationship with children, (3) personal health/style/appearance, and (4) work/family balance.

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Barbie the Computer Geek

Daddy Forever — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:27:04 +0000

When the people over at Barbie emailed me about their “I Can Be” campaign, I wasn’t planning on blogging about voting for Barbie’s next career. After all, this is a manly dad blog, not a girly mom blog. Plus I already blogged about how I was magically changed into a Barbie girl and I really didn’t want to write any more about Barbie.

Baby Hates Ice Cream, Loves Cardboard and Plastic

Daddy Forever — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:05:26 +0000

I can’t get baby to eat anything (not even ice cream). Yet every time I turn around, he’s sticking something in his mouth. The latest news on his Failure To Thrive Syndrome (not related to his seizures or H1N1): baby has to stop breast feeding and take prescription formula instead. If that doesn’t work, the doctor is going to stick a tube up baby’s nose so we can pump the prescription formula into his system when he’s asleep at night. And if that doesn’t work, they are going to hospitalize him and feed him via an IV. Oh yeah, they’re also going to stick a teeny weeny camera inside his body to see if there’s anything wrong internally.

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My Little Tomboy

Daddy Forever — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:01:19 +0000

When I feel like punishing myself, I take my children to Target to check out the toys. There’s nothing more fun for a dad than having your children ask you to buy one toy after another. When that doesn’t work, the kids change their tactics and start telling me what toys they want for Christmas and their birthdays. They don’t really need to tell me. I know them well enough to figure out what they like. But the Little Monkey did surprise me. Take a look at what my youngest daughter wants for Christmas:

My little girl with a Bakugan toy at Target

The Medical Advice That Almost Killed Our Baby

Daddy Forever — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:01:56 +0000

Here’s the story behind our baby’s seizures and the medical advice that almost killed him. Early Halloween morning, baby threw up and had a fever. When my wife told me, I wasn’t alarmed. As a dad of four kids, I’ve had more than my share of kids with fever. Plus I had the baby all to myself from 10 pm to 1 am the previous night. He slept in my arms for a couple hours and played for the other hour. When I handed baby off to my wife for his feeding, he was fine and happy. He didn’t appear to be the least bit sick.

That morning, my wife called the HMO and told the advice nurse about baby’s fever and vomiting. The nurse told my wife not to bring baby in unless he has bluish discolorations. The nurse also told my wife to take off baby’s clothes to cool him down, but do not give him any Tylenol because the acetaminophen might make him throw up again.

So while I was out and about with the other three kids (Chinese school and Target), my wife stayed home with baby. When I got back, baby was lying on the carpet twitching while my wife was on the phone with the 911 operator. At first I thought baby had hiccups. His seizures were not the violent shaking kind you see on TV. Then I noticed his eyes were rolled back. At that point, I felt someone ripping my heart out of my chest and I thought, “oh no, our baby is dying!”

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Oh Frak, Baby Has H1N1

Daddy Forever — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:00:55 +0000

The good news is Little Disney came home about two hours ago. The bad news is he tested positive for H1N1 (just the kind of news dads and moms want to hear). After he recovers, we have to take him back for additional tests (MRI, EEG, etc). Apparently, seizures for six hours is about five hours, fifty-nine minutes too long for an infant. At least his CAT scan turned out OK and he can move both sides of his body now.

BTW, the doctors think baby’s seizures were caused by his fever (103 degrees) and not as a direct result of the H1N1 virus. It appears our baby’s body does not tolerate heat very well. So now we have to be prepared for the possibility of more seizures whenever he has a fever (another thing for dad and mom to worry about). The doctor even prescribed anti-seizure medication. The drug is administered rectally, but at a cost of $750 for a twin kit, I feel like I’m actually the one getting reamed.

I’ll blog more about our fun later (including the really bad advice we got from our HMO). Now I have to write a post about a contest that started last night. I’m a little behind. I wonder why.

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Life Sucks in the ICU

Daddy Forever — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:24:16 +0000

A peaceful moment in the ICU after six hours of on and off seizures on Halloween

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Disney Offers Refund for Baby Einstein DVDs

Daddy Forever — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 07:01:26 +0000

It’s been all over the news this week, but just in case you have not heard: Disney is offering a refund on Baby Einstein DVDs. Dads and moms who are not satisfied with the Baby Einstein DVD they purchased, can exchange it for one of the following:

A Baby Einstein book AND a Baby Einstein music CD of their choice
A coupon for 25% off the purchase of one Little Einsteins product (redeemable with promotion code only at DisneyStore.com)
Refund for the current retail value of the DVD ($15.99)

Like many dads and moms, I bought several Baby Einstein DVDs and let my children watch them. At the time (five years ago), I heard it was not a good idea to let your kids watch TV before they are two years old. But I thought the Baby Einstein DVDs were OK because they were designed for babies and toddlers. Turns out I was wrong.

According to a study conducted by the Child Health Institute (University of Washington), each hour per day of viewing baby DVDs/videos was associated with a 16.99 point decrement in CDI score for infants (age 8 to 16 months). In terms normal dads and moms can understand, DVDs like the Baby Einstein series are likely to result in poor language development (a vocabulary decrease of about six to eight words for each daily hour of watching).

Wow, every time I let my toddler watch a Baby Einstein DVD, I was essentially stunting his development. I’m a bad dad. I should have known better.

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Failure To Thrive Syndrome

Daddy Forever — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:01:50 +0000

Little Disney turned seven months old last Saturday. He’s still cute and has a great smile, but his life has not exactly been filled with rainbows and unicorns. At night, Little Disney wakes up hungry every two hours like a newborn. He’s been to the doctor’s office many times, had blood work done three times, been to a dermatologist and an allergist, and now has to go see a pediatric gastroenterologist. Our baby hates formula, solid foods, antihistamine medication, and being fed with a bottle. Little Disney also has acid reflux, which makes him spit up puddles of food. And he also hates his infant acid reflux medication, which costs a lot but doesn’t seem to help.

Seeking Stay at Home Dads for New Documentary Series

Daddy Forever — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 07:06:56 +0000

Sean De Simone Casting is searching for stay at home dads to be profiled in a new cable docu-series. They are searching for fathers who take care of the kids while their wife goes to work. Father friends, play group dads, and family relations a plus. If you’re interested, please email Sean De Simone a letter of interest about you and your family and why you would like to be a part of the show. Please also make sure to send a photo of yourself and family (no older then six months old) and a current contact telephone number.

Electronic submissions are preferred. However, you can also send hard copy materials to:

Sean De Simone Casting
P.O Box 20347
New York, NY 10009
Telephone Number: 917-475-1411

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Allowances

Daddy Forever — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:01:29 +0000

You parents out there, where do you stand on allowances and paying for chores? I’m all for it, but my wife refuses to pay me. She said something about “it’s not call babysitting when you’re the dad.” Whatever.

When I was a kid, I never got an allowance for doing chores around the house. My parents didn’t believe in allowances. They grew up in rural China in a time when kids were expected to do chores around the hut for free. When my dad was a kid, it was his duty to milk the chickens and run 26.2 miles to sell the chicken milk at the nearest village. According to dad, he had to run uphill in monsoon-like conditions…sometimes there was also ten feet of snow.

Even though my parents didn’t believe in allowances, my mom did offer to pay me five cents to vacuum the house. My mom thought five cents was fair because we lived in a small house (our house was so small that if you took two steps through the front door, you’ll end up in the back yard). I, on the other hand, thought five cents wasn’t enough and I insisted on twenty-five cents. Bad move on my part — I ended up vacuuming the house weekly for the right to live in it.

Recently we started letting our kids spend the money they received as presents. In the past, we made a note of what they wanted and shopped around for the best price. However, when the kids are in charge of their money, they have to get the toy or book when they see it at the store. They don’t want to shop around or wait for it to go on sale. Even when you tell the kids they could get an extra toy or book if they wait, they still insist on buying it right then and there.

I like the idea of telling my kids they can buy something they want with their money. I no longer have to be the bad guy when they ask me to buy something for them. But I still feel bad when I have to tell them they don’t have enough money saved up for the toy they want. You should see their sad little faces when I tell them that.

Even though I like giving my kids a little money management responsibility, I’m still not sure if I want to pay my kids for doing chores. That’s just not how I was raised. Here’s a question for my readers: Do you give your kids an allowance or pay them for doing chores?

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Michael Jackson the Dad

Daddy Forever — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 07:01:18 +0000

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always thought of Michael Jackson as the guy who could sing, dance, and entertain. Later, I thought he was a little strange too. But even though I knew Michael Jackson had children, I never thought of him as a “dad” (who can forget the video of him dangling his baby off a balcony?). Then I saw the clip of his eleven year old daughter, Paris Katherine Jackson, during Michael’s memorial service.

“Ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine”

After seeing the last part of the memorial service, I see Michael Jackson the singer in a new light — Michael Jackson the father of three children. I’m still not convince Michael was the best father you could ever imagine, but when his little girl said it, I believed her. It sounded very sincere and from the heart. I’m sure in Paris Jackson’s eyes, Michael was the best father she could ever imagine.

In my opinion, being a dad is more important than the number of platinum records you achieved or the zillions of dollars you earned in your life. Being a parent is one of the most important and fulfilling job in the world. And if your kids think of you as the best parent you could ever imagine, then you must be doing something right. When it’s my time to go, I could die in peace and without regrets if my kids consider me the best father you could ever imagine. That wouldn’t be a bad way for my life to end.

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My Little Painter

Daddy Forever — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:01:43 +0000

When are kids old enough to be helpful? You parents out there know what I mean. Kids want to be helpful, but that usually means more work for us parents and the chore will take a lot longer to finish. Funny how little kids think chores are fun, but when they get older they hate chores and don’t want to do them. Back to my question, when are kids old enough to be helpful? Is it nine? Eighteen? Never?

I’m bringing this up because we painted the living room last week. As you can imagine, all four of our kids thought painting would be fun and wanted to help paint. Yes, even the little baby. Little Disney can’t talk yet, but he let us know he wanted to help by eyeing the paint roller and then crying every time we picked up the roller.

We decided to let the Little Princess “help” paint, but we said no to the other kids. With Spiderboy and the Little Monkey, there was a 200% probability they would “accidentally” paint each other. We didn’t think the Little Princess would be very helpful, but we wanted to give her the chance to prove us wrong. She didn’t. We had to repaint most of the sections she painted. Oh well. At least she didn’t lose a limb, paint the carpet, or knocked me off the 20′ ladder (note: a 16′ high living room is cool until you have to paint it, then it really sucks — sorta of like holding a baby when he has a diaper blow-out, but one hundred million nine times worst).

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Do As I Say

Daddy Forever — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 07:01:53 +0000

When I look at this photo, I see four cute kids. It’s my job to make sure they stay that way and not menace society when they grow up. Every day I’m forced to make decisions that will influence my kids for many years. Make a wrong decision and the kids start their journey to the Dark Side. So, what do you say when you’re eating ice cream and the kids ask if they could have that for breakfast too?

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Birthday Party

Daddy Forever — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:01:52 +0000

On Saturday, Spiderboy turned six, the Little Princess turned nine, my wife turned twenty-something again, and I conquered Europe. We celebrated by going to the mall and then throwing a birthday party with a zillion well-behaved kids. Speaking of parties, can you guess from the photos below who invited everyone in their class to the birthday party and who didn’t invite anyone?

My son’s birthday presents

My daughter’s birthday presents

I’m not sure what’s going on with my kids. Last October, the Little Princess invited everyone in her class to our Halloween party and Spiderboy didn’t invite anyone. Less than eight months later, my son invited everyone to the birthday party and my daughter didn’t invite anyone. Is nine the age when kids no longer want birthday parties?

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Little Disney – Three Months

Daddy Forever — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 07:01:47 +0000

What a big difference a couple of months can make. After one month, I wanted to return Little Disney for a full refund (minus a 15% restocking fee). After three months, I want my wife to have 20 more babies. He’s that cute.

At three months, Little Disney no longer torments us by waking up every few minutes at night. He also cries in a demonic manner less often. Now, Little Disney can laugh and smile when he’s happy. By smile, I don’t mean one of those fake smiles people give their in-laws. When Little Disney smiles, he really means it.

Little Disney can also talk now. Not with real words, but by cooing. When I talk to him, he coos back at me. I’m going to give him the benefit of doubt and assume he’s saying nice things to me and not talking back at me like my other three kids.

On the down side, Little Disney is losing his hair and has really bad eczema. My wife blames the receding hairline on me because once I said it would be nice to have a bald baby. All our kids were born with lots of hair. I think it has something to do with my werewolf DNA.

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Converse Girl Star

Daddy Forever — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:02:47 +0000

This is a strange post for me. It’s about shoes. I don’t think I’ve ever written about shoes before. I usually don’t even think about shoes. I just wear them. Sometimes with clothes.

Then something bad happened.

Before I tell you what happened, let me tell you my favorite shoes are Converse All Star. I loved them when I was a kid. I love them now. If I could have, I would have wore them with my tux when I got married (my wife can be so unreasonable at times).

In my expert opinion, Converse All Star are the coolest shoes on all nine planets in our solar system (I still consider Pluto a planet – dwarf planet my foot). How can you go wrong with shoes that feature a star on each shoe? And let’s not forget that Julius Erving (Dr. J) wore Converse All Star when he played in the NBA. For you younglings out there, Dr. J was the Michael Jordan of his time. If you don’t know who Air Jordan is, then try Kobe Bryant or LeBron James.

Below are a couple photos of my Converse All Star. The first pair is the one I wear when it’s not raining (I wear boots the other ten months of the year). The second pair of shoes is the one I wear when I want to dunk over Shaquille O’Neal, which I do often in Bizzaro basketball.

Now for the bad part of this story. About a week ago, the Little Princess went shopping with the weirdo-in-law. When she came back from the mall, she told me she got a pair of brand new Converse All Star. At first I was happy. Then she showed me her shoes:

How could they do this to my beloved All Star? It was bad enough when Target started selling low-end Converse One Star. Now my ultra cool shoes has been turned into girly shoes too. And they even have the nerve to still call them All Star. Shouldn’t they call them Converse Girly Shoes or something like that?

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Superhero Birthday Card

Daddy Forever — Tue, 26 May 2009 07:01:33 +0000

Check out the superhero birthday card I created for my son. This year, the party will take place on June 13th, Spiderboy’s birthday (how lucky is that?).

For some bizarro reason, the Little Princess decided she didn’t want a party this year. As some of you know, my daughter was also born on June 13th. So this year, my son won’t have to share the party with his sister and her girly third grade friends (again, how lucky is that?). And when Spiderboy no longer wants a birthday party, my wife (also born June 13) will finally get to have a birthday party again — probably in the year 2022.

Here’s a question for you. If your kid got an invite like the one above, would you think the birthday party is a costume party?

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Let The Teenager In

Daddy Forever — Thu, 21 May 2009 07:01:19 +0000

Someone help me. There’s a teenager in our house. And the teenager is not one of my kids. She’s my wife. It’s true. Ever since she saw Twilight, she devolved back into a teenager. My wife, who generally dislikes vampire movies, is obsessed with Twilight now. She purchased the Twilight box set at Costco and read them all in four days. Keep in mind my wife doesn’t like to read. That’s why she married me and specified in our marriage contract that I have to do her share of reading for her.

Now my wife, the teenager, frequently checks the Stephenie Meyer website and searches the Internet for the latest Twilight gossip. She also likes to talk to other people about Twilight. For instance, the other day my wife mentioned to the weirdo-in-law that the actor who played Edward will be nude in his next movie. Hello, I do nude scenes too. Off course, that was before the baby was born.

I like Twilight too (both the book and movie), but I think John Ajvide Lindqvist’s Let The Right One In is a better film (I have not read the book yet). Lindqvist’s vampire isn’t pretty and rich like Meyer’s and Ann Rice’s vampires, but Lindqvist’s vampire is more interesting and realistic. Let The Right One In didn’t have a feel good Hollywood ending like Twilight. It’s also a foreign language film so you have to watch the dubbed version or read subtitles. But after the movie was over, I found myself vested in the two main characters. Don’t get me wrong. If I was a vampire, I would like to be handsome and wealthy like Edward. But if vampires really did exist, I think my life as a vampire would be more like the one described in Let The Right One In.

Back to my teenaged, Twilight-obsessed wife. With my kids, I can expect six to seven teenage years from each of them. But I have no idea how long my wife will remain a teenager. Wait, there’s more. My wife has also infected the Little Princess. Now my eight year old is also into Twilight. Even my three year old daughter likes to talk about Edward and Bella. Someone help me please. There’s too much estrogen in the air.

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The Secret to Running a Jog-a-thon

Daddy Forever — Tue, 19 May 2009 07:01:32 +0000

I went to see my son run at the school’s jog-a-thon earlier this month. I was expecting him to wow me. After all, he inherited my athletic genes. Yes, the very same genes that enabled me to win twenty gold medals in Bizarro World. Take that Michael Phelps and your measly eight gold medals.

My son wowed me alright……by stumbling out of the gate. Seriously, he literally stumbled left and right during the first lap. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to wipe out the other kids or if he drank too much beer for lunch. I was actually amazed he could run an entire lap stumbling like a one-legged gingerbread man in heat and not fall face first into the grass.

By the end of the first lap, my wife’s son was in last place. It wasn’t even close. Luckily for him (unlucky if you ask him), it was a 20-minute jog-a-thon. After a few laps, the other kids ran out of gas and Spiderboy eventually passed them. By the end of the jog-a-thon, my son ran more laps than most of the other kindergarten kids. How about that. My son is a tortoise in a school full of hares.

Here are some running tips from my son:

Unbutton your shirt to increase drag and make you run funny

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Dora the Sexy Explorer

Daddy Forever — Wed, 13 May 2009 07:01:30 +0000

When Mattel and Nickelodeon revealed a silhouette of the new Dora in March, many parents were upset. Unlike the old Dora, the new Dora is aimed at girls from five to tween. Many parents thought the older Dora was a sexed-up version of the younger Dora.

Hello. Has anyone noticed how women are drawn in comic books? The girls in comics make the new Dora look like a prude. I know, comic books are targeted at older kids, but the graphics at the bottom is an example of the type of comics my five year old son checks out from the kids section at the library.

Funny thing is, I didn’t notice how curvy the women superheroes were drawn when I was a kid. All I cared about was the guys’ super powers and their super cool costumes. I think I must have been gay when I was a boy.

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Swine Flu and The Mask of Skull

Daddy Forever — Tue, 12 May 2009 07:01:23 +0000

First there was the West Nile virus. Then the bird flu. Now it’s the swine flu. Next, it’ll be the Klingon flu. It’s one epidemic after another. Obviously, I don’t have enough to worry about with four little ones in the house. And of course, kids alway wash their hands with soap and never stick their hands in their mouths.

I see in the news that there’s a run on face masks because people are afraid of catching the swine flu from other people. I find this interesting because back in the 90′s, I a spent a week in Japan on a modeling assignment. OK, it might have been a geeky software project. Anyhow, while I was strutting in Tokyo, I noticed some people wore face masks. When I asked about it, I was told they wore the masks because they were sick and they didn’t want to get anyone else sick. Isn’t that amazing? It’s the exact opposite over here in the states. We wear face masks to avoid catching germs from other people. Who cares if we get other people sick. Let’s share the misery.

Speaking of masks, if I was to wear a face mask in public, I would wear one designed by Yorika Yoshida. Like her skull face mask:

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How to Break Your Back

Daddy Forever — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 07:01:40 +0000

Last Friday night/Saturday morning, my back went out on me. Yes, again. It’s my kids’ fault. I didn’t have back problems until I had kids. Now I have back problems all the time. When it comes to back problems, I am an expert. For those of you who have never had back problems, here are some expert advice for you:

Carry your three year old daughter every chance you get. Avoid using the hips. Instead, hold her in front of you.
Lift your almost six-year old son above your head with one hand. It’s also good practice for those of you into paired ice-skating.
Throw your daughter in the air and catch her…repeat 20 times…with no rest. Try not to miss more than three times during the catching part of this activity.
Reach down into the crib and pick up the baby using your back instead of your legs. Repeat six times a day.
When your daughter wakes up at night, hold and carry her for 30+ minutes until she falls back asleep. Wear goggles if she’s the poke out your eyes type.
When the baby wakes up at night, hold and rock him for a couple of hours. If you get bored, turn on the disco music and strobe light and dance the night away.

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Nake Baby – Day Seven

Daddy Forever — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 07:01:55 +0000

Little Disney can open both eyes now and follow movement. He still cries a lot, but not as often as the first few days. It must be very strange for him to go from a life of darkness to a world of light.

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The Adventure of Birth

Daddy Forever — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 07:02:35 +0000

It’s been almost nine months since that magical night at Disneyland. Now I’m a daddy to our fourth and last child. It seems like we have come full circle. Our last child was born the exact same weight and length as our first child: 9 pounds, 0 oz and 20 1/2″. If Little Disney wasn’t born ten days early, he would have been too big. And he would been stuck. Thank goodness for my wife’s sake, Little Disney was born early.

My thoughts about our latest birth:

We were lucky with our first three children — the trip to the hospital occurred during daytime. This was the first time we had to go when we’re normally dreaming about life without kids (3 am).
Judging from the amount of pain my wife was experiencing during the drive, I thought I might have to pull over and deliver the baby myself. I could just see the news headline. Hitchhiking leprechaun helps dad deliver baby. News at eleven.
Apparently, an actress from Grey’s Anatomy was filling in for the triage nurse. During the examination, the nurse told us she couldn’t find the cervix. What the heck?
Did you know an anesthesiologist can prolong the pleasure of labor for hours by injecting you with too much epidural? That’s what happened with Mommy Forever. Oddly, the same thing happened when she was in labor with the Little Monkey. It’s a good thing my wife enjoys a long labor. Otherwise, we would be upset with the ordeal.
Any dad out there ever had a daydream involving a baseball glove during delivery? You know, the one where your wife is ready to give birth and there are no doctors or nurses around. The baby shoots out and you make a diving catch with the glove you brought for just this type of emergency.
What’s the deal with all the rain gear the doctor was wearing? She also wore a face shield. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she was going to weld a ship out at sea.
Any dad out there ever said “oops” right after cutting the umbilical cord? Just asking.
Our baby has boy parts. There is no doubt he is a boy. But that didn’t stop the hospital staff from listing the baby as a girl in some of the paper work — including the birth certificate. If we didn’t catch the error, we could have drove home with a baby girl that would have needed a lot of therapy with a shrink.

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It’s a Boy

Daddy Forever — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:01:48 +0000

The Disney Souvenir was born Tuesday morning. The latest member of the Forever family was born 9 pounds and 20 1/2 inches. The first thing the baby did was pee on the doctor and cry. Three days later, he’s still crying. Where’s the crying off switch?

Baby Things

Daddy Forever — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 08:04:21 +0000

For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been busy getting our baby stuff out of storage. We kept most of our baby things because Mommy Forever told me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away that she wanted four kids. In the past, we didn’t know what we were doing and bought stuff we didn’t really need. If I could travel back in time, I would tell myself a couple of things.

First, I would tell myself to get a quality baby monitor. I would recommend paying extra for one that works well when you’re outside. There has been many times when I had to do some yard work while the baby slept. The monitor we got generated a lot of static outside and was useless out in the yard.

Second, I would tell myself not to buy the following items:

Changing table
Even with the safety strap, I was always nervous the baby would roll off the changing table. I rather use a towel on the floor when I needed to change the baby.

Diaper Genie refills
It’s cheaper to use plastic grocery bags. And if you can find a garbage can with a tight lid, you could probably skip the Diaper Genie too.

Diaper bag
I like using my backpack better. Plus, the hospital gave us a diaper bag each time we had a baby.

Crib
We rarely used our crib. Our kids hated it. We got more use from our co-sleeper and bassinet.

Crib bedding set
They look nice — especially if you’re into matchy-matchy or theme sets. But according to researchers, a comforter increases the chance of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

Baby swing
My wife and I disagree on this. My wife thinks a baby swing is very helpful for soothing the baby. I, on the other hand, recall the baby crying after the first few times we used the baby swing.

Baby carrier
A front baby carrier is great for keeping your hands free, but awful for the back.

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Baby Predictions

Daddy Forever — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 21:02:40 +0000

Even though Mommy Forever isn’t due until March 13th, she’s already dilated. According to the midwive, my wife can go into labor any day now. I’m hoping for a weekend because we don’t have a lot of help during the week. Just in case, I wrote three posts in advance on Saturday. This is the first one and the other two posts are scheduled for later this week. If I stop replying to comments, then either my wife has gone into labor or I have been abducted by little green men.

Care to make any predictions for the Disney souvenir? Here are some info about the Forever kids when they were born:

The Little Princess
June 13, 2000
9 pounds, 0 oz
20 1/2″
She lost about a pound by the time we left the hospital. We had to bring her back almost every day for over a week.

Spiderboy
June 13, 2003
8 pounds, 9 oz
21 1/8″
He was born with jaundice. We had to take him to the bloodsuckers at the lab three or four times to be tested.

Little Monkey
August 25, 2005
7 pounds, 13 oz
19 3/4″
She’s the smallest of our babies, but she’s the only one to gain weight while at the hospital.

I think the little Disney Souvenir will be even smaller than the Little Monkey. We must be running out of DNA or something.

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More Snow Please

Daddy Forever — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 08:01:51 +0000

On Sunday, we got our first snow in about two years. Actually, it snowed a few times last year but it wasn’t cold enough for the snow to stick. In my book, it doesn’t count as snow unless it lasts as least an hour. That’s like going trick-or-treating and getting an empty candy wrapper.

I think my kids must be defective. There was only about half an inch of snow, winds were gusting at 30-50mph, and it was around eight degrees (wind chill). And yet, the kids were so excited about the snow. I like snow too, but I’m not too fond of the wind gusts and I need at least three inches of snow before I get excited. When I was an itty bitty lad, we use to get snow every year. Now, snow is kinda rare here on the valley floor. Sometimes, I envy people who get a lot of snow every year.

Kid Dies on Halloween

Daddy Forever — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 08:01:08 +0000

I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween. It was a fun night for our kids and we made it home safely, which is not something that could be said about the 12-year old trick-or-treater that was shot to death. Apparently, a man thought he was being robbed so he open fire on a dad and his two boys when they knocked on his door. Can you imagine being the parent of the boy killed? I would be devastated and would want to build barriers around my other kids.

I don’t understand what the shooter was thinking. It was Halloween and he had his porch light on. It should have been obvious they were trick-or-treaters and not robbers. And what was an ex-convict doing with an AK-47 assault rifle and why did he need to fire off 29 or more rounds?

Halloween is one of those holidays where we as parents have to have faith. We have to trust that people won’t lace our kids’ candy with poison, we have to have faith that people won’t abduct or shoot our kids when they ring the door bell, and we have to believe people won’t rob us when we open our doors to trick-or-treaters. I love Halloween, but I find myself wondering if we are too trusting when it comes to trick-or-treating. On any other night, most of us would not let our kids accept candy from strangers or let them open the door if we didn’t know who was ringing the door bell. But on Halloween, we are very trusting and have faith people will be on their best behavior.

So, what do you think? Are we too trusting when it comes to Halloween?

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Disneyland Souvenir

Daddy Forever — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 07:04:52 +0000

Apparently my wife and I spent a little too much time in Fantasyland during our trip to Disneyland last summer. We’re expecting a little Disney souvenir in March. According to the VooDoo doctor, it’s going to be a boy. I’m not sure what the doctor and ultrasound tech were smoking, but I don’t see any boy parts in the ultrasound photo. I can’t even tell if the lifeform is human.

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Compassion, Empathy, and the Unpopular Girl

Daddy Forever — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 07:14:58 +0000

Is compassion and empathy something kids develop on their own? Or do they need to be taught? I’m asking because the Little Princess seems to lack those traits. She invited almost all the girls in her class to our upcoming Halloween party. Almost meaning all the girls except for three (let’s call them Sarah, Hilary, and Condoleezza). When I asked her why she wasn’t inviting the three girls, I was expecting a good reason — something like: “Those three girls are political spawns of Satan and they like to sniff markers at school.” Instead, the Little Princess simply said she didn’t want the party to be too big. Right That would be like her saying she wants less candy for Halloween or fewer presents for Christmas.

I tried tricking the Little Princess by telling her a fib (my bad). I told her three people couldn’t make it to the party so she can now invite Sarah, Hilary, and Condoleezza without worrying about the party getting too big. The Little Princess said she will invite Sarah and Hilary, but not Condoleezza. When my wife and I asked her why she’s not inviting Condoleezza, the Little Princess wouldn’t tell us (“because” isn’t a valid reason, right?). My wife asked her how would she feel if she was the only person not invited to a party. The Little Princess said she would feel bad, but she still refused to invite Condoleezza.

My wife actually knows why the Little Princess doesn’t want to invite Condoleezza — she’s the unpopular girl. Last year, during a school field trip, my wife noticed all the girls wanted to hang around the Little Princess, but no one wanted to talk to Condoleezza. Everyone ignored Condoleezza and she stood by herself. My wife felt sorry for Condoleezza, so she made the Little Princess sit with the unpopular girl during lunch. The Little Princess was not happy about that and none of the other girls ate lunch with them.

Back to the party. My wife would like to force the Little Princess to invite all the girls to the party. I think the Little Princess should invite Condoleezza too, but I’m not sure we should force her to. So, what would you do? Let the Little Princess decide who to invite? Make her invite all the girls? Or torture her until she willing invites the unpopular girl? I vote for torture. One toy a day will mysteriously disappear.

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My Very Own Jedi Knight

Daddy Forever — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 07:01:03 +0000

A strange thing happened to my son during our trip to Disneyland last summer. He became a Jedi Knight. It was completely unexpected. I thought for sure he would rekindle his interest in Buzz Lightyear at Disneyland, but instead, my son became obsessed with Star Wars.

I don’t understand his obsession. Before Disneyland, I encouraged him to watch my Star Wars DVDs, but he got bored within five minutes. After Disneyland and their Jedi Training Academy, my son watched all six of my Star Wars movies from start to finish in one sitting (just kidding — it was one a week). Now we go to Target every week so he can look at the Star Wars toys again and again and again (obviously a million and one times is not enough). I have to admit, when the Clone Wars toys first came out, I wanted to see the new Star Wars toys too. But that was in August and it’s now October. On another note, if it was up to my son, he would wear his Star Wars shirt to school every day.

One of the interesting part of being a dad is watching your kids pick up different interests as they grow up. When my son was two, he was hooked on Buzz Lightyear. When he was three, he stole my superhero action figures collection, broke all their arms (my son is obviously the villain), and became addicted to superheroes. In the past year, he has also become fond of Transformers and Bionicles. But until the Disneyland trip, he had no interest in Star Wars.

Like me, all of my kids love superheroes and Halloween. But so far, none of my kids have shown any interest in sports, which is something I love. They have no interest playing sports and no interest in watching sports. I wonder why that is. What makes them become hooked on one thing, but not on another? Sometimes, I wish I could take a peek inside my kids’ heads and see what makes them tick. You know, like that Sylar guy from Heroes. Except for the part that involves opening the skull while blood oozes out. No, that wouldn’t be good. Not good at all.

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Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Daddy Forever — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 07:01:29 +0000

My son is the Incredible Hulk, but in reverse. Instead of a raging beast that is released when angry, my son is normally a monster. It’s only during certain situations that the angel within emerges from the demon child.

At home, the little devil runs all over the place, climbs on things, and picks on his sisters. He does not listen and shouting loudly is his normal voice. But at school, he transforms into a little angel. According to his teacher, he is a great listener, is very sweet, plays well with other kids, and is a great helper. The first time she told me this, I thought she was talking to someone else. But no one else was near me. She was talking to me and she was talking about my son. And I’m fairly certain she wasn’t taking any drugs at the time.

My daughter is different at school too. She is nicer and more respectful. But the difference between her two personalities is not as dramatic as Spiderboy. My son isn’t a bad kid. Spiderboy is actually the most easy going of my three children. But he’s also the loudest and most hyper of my clones. I’m not sure why he’s so wild at home and so well behave at school. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a secret button that the teacher knows about that I don’t. Press it and he becomes an angel. Press it again and he turns back into a monster.

Anyone else have this problem?

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Oregon Coast – Home of the Penguins and Polar Bears

Daddy Forever — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 07:24:33 +0000

You know how the food that you crave the most are usually the ones that make your butt bigger or give you a heart attack down the road. Well, that’s how the Oregon coast is. I love our coast. It is a very beautiful place. I love listening to the sound of the ocean, watching the waves come in, and looking far into the horizon. On a clear day, I can even see my long-lost cousin waving from China.

But if you try to take a swim in our ocean, you’ll freeze and have a heart attack (but your butt won’t get any bigger). Then your fingers and toes will fall off. And you won’t be able to have normal sex for a hundred years. I have no proof of this, but I think there’s an Alaskan pipeline that pumps freezing Arctic water into the ocean off of our coast and makes our water so cold that penguins and polar bears migrate to our beach for the winter.

I can only stand in the ocean for about a minute before my feet freeze. But my kids have no problem running around in the water for hours. How is that possible? Do kids have some sort of special ability that I don’t know about?

As you can probably guess, we went to the coast over the weekend. As soon as we got there, the kids all ran to the water. And within 15 minutes, a wave knocked the Little Monkey on her back and completely soaked her clothes. The water was only a few inches high, but it freaked her out anyway. She demanded to go home. But after we changed her and had lunch, she was back having fun in the water. A few hours later, another wave knocked the Little Monkey down again. This time, the Little Monkey dragged her big sister into the water too. Next year, I think we need to get wet suits.

Run for your life, here comes the Forever kids

The colder the water, the faster they run

I want a hug from sister

Too much hair gel or too much wind

I wonder why it’s call Haystack Rock

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New School Year

Daddy Forever — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 08:12:24 +0000

My son started kindergarten yesterday. He’s all grown up now. Spiderboy doesn’t need me anymore. By the end of the week, I expect him to graduate from high school and move away to a galaxy far, far away. Then he’ll become a Jedi Knight — like his father before him. The Force is strong in our family. Really.

Things have been hectic around here with the start of the new school year. We have two kids in school this year and they have different start times. And the kids are not even in the same building. The school doesn’t have enough room for all the kids, so the kindergarten classes are located in a dumpster near the school. And who came up with the idea of half-day kindergarten? After I drop off my son and return home, I have less than two seconds before I have to head back to pick up the kids. And since when is two and half hours considered half-day?

On another note, the Little Monkey was not happy about her brother and sister going to school without her. She had a major melt down when we explained to her she was too little to go to school. She just screamed and insisted she is big enough and she is five. She just have to go to school. You know, because having mommy and daddy to herself is just the worst thing that can happen to a three-year old.

Off to make trouble at kindergarten

My big third grader

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Little Monkey Turns Three

Daddy Forever — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 07:04:18 +0000

Dear Little Monkey,

Happy birthday! You turn three today. Daddy thinks you are the cutest child of all. Your sister is the smartest and your brother is the most like daddy. But you are the most adorable. Every time I see you, I want to pick you up and hug you to infinity and beyond. You are that adorable.

You are finally in your daddy stage. You still prefer mommy at night, but during the day, you want daddy to play with you all the time. And playing with you is very different than playing with your brother. Very different. And it involves placing hair clips and fake ear rings on daddy’s head. Thank goodness I can’t fit in your sister’s princess dresses. Not that I tried or anything.

You are also in your baby stage. You like to call yourself baby, cuddle up in daddy’s arm, and tell daddy to kiss baby. And then there are times when you pretend you are your brother’s little bunny. You and your brother are so cute when you two play well together. If only the two of you could play like that all the time. More than five minutes would be nice.

You have also become quite the liar in the family. It is a skill you have mastered well. And you lie all the time. Sometimes you would sneak up into daddy’s office and climb on daddy’s lap. Daddy asks why are you up here and you would reply with, “Mommy told me to.” And then there are times when you do something wrong and you deny doing it even though daddy saw you do it. You are going to be so much trouble when you become a teenager. I can hardly wait.

Even though you are far from being perfect, you bring a smile to daddy’s face every time I see you. Daddy loves you very much. Happy birthday, Little Monkey.

Love,
Daddy Forever

I wouldn’t lie to you, I’m ten.

I’m a little princess.

That’s the funniest Barbie joke I’ve ever heard.

Just chilling out at the park.

Are you sure this hat will make me smarter?

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All Quiet on the Forever Front

Daddy Forever — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:19:51 +0000

The wife and kids have been gone all week. They’re visiting the weirdo-in-law in Seattle. The kids like going up there because the weirdo-in-law loves to spoil them. Last time, she bought them each a pony and a goose that can lay golden eggs. My wife got a Ferrari and I got a bag full of doggie doo-doo.

I feel conflicted about the trip. On one hand, I have the whole house to myself. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Like staying up until 3 am doing nothing important. Or eating lemon cookies for dinner. Or defeating Michael Phelps in the 100 m butterfly by 0.01 second.

On the other hand, I miss the wife and kids. With my wife gone, I have no one to annoy. And with the kids gone, I feel like I’m missing out on their lives. Any minute now, I expect my wife to call me to tell me the kids discovered an error in Einstein’s theory of relativity.

Hopefully, the kids will come home today instead of tomorrow so we can get back to snuggling:

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The Hopeless Romantic Has Left the Building

Daddy Forever — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 07:52:47 +0000

On our anniversary last week, I took the afternoon off and spent a romantic day at the lake with my wife. The Little Princess, Spiderboy, and the Little Monkey were also at the lake. Very romantic. Dinner was just as intimate. The Little Princess wanted to go to Izzy’s because she loves the buffet there. And after dinner, we went to the mall because my son wanted to go to the Disney and Lego stores. According to him, it’s his anniversary too. Somehow, our anniversary has become Kids Day.

Before we had kids, I was a hopeless romantic. OK, maybe I wasn’t very romantic in real life. But in my mind, I was a big time, hopeless romantic. The kind of guy who buys flowers and chocolate for his wife, holds her hand on walks, buys her presents for no reason at all, and tells her “I love you” every day. Now that I have kids, my daddy genes have taken over. Valentine’s Day involves the kids. My wife’s birthday involves the kids. Our anniversary involves the kids. Even changing the oil in our car involves the kids (just kidding). I no longer have romantic thoughts. My hopeless romantic side is now buried in the deep recesses of my mind.

I know, I know. I could just get a sitter. But I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself. My mind would be elsewhere. I would wonder if the kids are ok and I would think about all the bad things I’ve heard on the news. On a side note: where did the term baby sitter come from? Long ago, did people really sit on babies?

Mommy Forever on our ninth anniversary

Kids shooting water at mommy

Little Monkey dances while Spiderboy punches Invisible Girl

Enjoying the paddle boat on the lake

Little Princess doing the sun dance

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A Fistful of Bubbles

Daddy Forever — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:01:53 +0000

Why do kids find delight in a simple thing like blowing bubbles? To be honest, I still like bubbles. But on my list of things that make me happy, blowing bubbles would not be anywhere near the top. I’m not sure what would be at the top of my list, but I think it might involve an island in the tropics, my wife, lingerie, and whip cream.

I wonder, at what point do kids lose their love of simple things and become infatuated with video games, iPods, $200 jeans, boobs, and six-pack abs? And at what point do kids start worrying about being cool and prefer not be seen with mom and dad in public? Tell me. Inquiring minds want to know.

Trying to turn the swimming pool into a bubble bath

Look at all the bubbles I’m making

Freeze or I’ll shoot you with my bubbles gun

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The Transformer Bike

Daddy Forever — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:01:37 +0000

Spiderboy got an Optimus Prime Transformer bike for his birthday from the weirdo-in-law. Spiderboy picked it out himself (the bike, not the weirdo). I was hoping he would go for the Spiderman bike because it would match his Spiderman helmet. The Optimus Prime bike is cooler, but I’m fairly certain he’s breaking several fashion laws when he rides his Transformer bike with his Spiderman helmet and pads. I wonder if he gets his fashion sense from me.

When it comes to riding bikes, my kids are behind the curve. My son didn’t figure out how to ride a toy bike until near the end of last summer. By toy bike, I mean one of those Fisher Price bikes with plastic wheels and no brakes. The Little Princess was even worst. She wasn’t ready for her Strawberry Shortcake bike until she turned six. Even then, she freaked out every time she had to go downhill. And I’m not talking about a big, steep hill. More like a gentle, one-degree slope. And she’s still using training wheels. But I’m fairly certain any day now, someone will break into our garage and steal those training wheels right off of her bike. And nothing else will be stolen. Very mysterious.

After taking Spiderboy bike riding several times, I’ve concluded a couple of things. First, my son isn’t exactly the brightest kid around. His preferred method for stopping involved crashing his bike into a curb. Most kids would just use the brakes. The other thing I’ve concluded is that Spiderboy is easily distracted. When he’s riding, he’s too busy looking to his left or right instead of where he is going. He doesn’t even notice when he starts veering to the other side of the street, to the curb, or at me. Before the month is over, I’m fairly certain he will smack into a parked car. Sorta like the time I walked right into the window display at the mall and fell on my rear.

Spiderboy on his new Transformer bike

Little Princess and her Strawberry Shortcake bike

I’m fairly certain Mommy Forever wasn’t sitting on the Little Monkey’s lap

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A Pool is a Kid’s Best Friend

Daddy Forever — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:01:07 +0000

Sometimes you can never win as a dad. You do something fun like take the kids to Disneyland. Then you discover one of their favorite parts of the trip was swimming in the hotel pool. And that’s when you realize you’re spending a zillion dollars so the kids can go swimming. Then you get a glimpse of the future. A future where you foot the tuition to medical school and the kids end up frying burgers for a living. For goodness sake, the pool didn’t even have a slide, cool water sprays, or scantily clad women. It was just a plain, medium size, swimming pool.

But you know what? I can’t really blame the kids. Because of incredible good luck, we arrive at Disneyland just in time for a heat wave (Portland was in the 60′s when we left — a 40 degrees swing). The kids loved the Disney rides, but the rides only last a few minutes and you have to wait 30 minutes to an hour for most of the good rides. For ten rides, that comes out to 36,000 seconds in the blistering sun while your kids’ brain turns to goo. It was so hot, steam was coming out of their ears. OK, I made that part up, but it was super nova hot. Even a dorky dad like me can see why the kids wanted to go swimming.

Apparently, the heat wave followed us home (yeah, more incredible good luck). It was 101 degrees on Saturday. Perfect time to setup our pool and cool off. My guess is that our kids will have as much fun with our pool as they did at Disneyland. Even better, our pool will provide fun for several more summers and the pool only cost $25 (purchased on clearance last Fall — thank you Target). So there you have it, Daddy’s Law #689 — a pool is a kid’s best friend.

Check out the Forever Aquatic Park!

Anyone want to join me?

The swim cap is the key to winning Olympic gold in Beijing.

Princess-powered boat.

Can you tell I love our new pool?

Anyone see my red underwear?

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The Magic Kindgom

Daddy Forever — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:01:54 +0000

Last week, we took the kids on a three-day trip to Disneyland. The week before, we told them the zoo trip was their birthday present (are they gullible or what?). Boy were they surprised when we flew them in our zillion-dollar Learjet to Disneyland. Speaking of planes, has anyone noticed the wings block the view out the window. Can’t someone design a plane without wings? How hard can that be?

The Disney trip was partially subsidized by our economic stimulus check. Normally, I would have just saved the money for a rainy day (literally – we have four roof/gutter leaks to repair!). But life is too short. I decided I should take the family on a fun vacation this year. You know, before the kids grow up and hate me for never taking them to Disneyland.

This was the first time our kids have been on an airplane. The first time all five of us have been on a vacation together. And the kids’ first trip to Disneyland (it’s also the first time my wife and I have been to the Magic Kingdom in ten years). Disneyland was very fun and very tiring. I’m still trying to recover. The last couple of days, I felt like I was doing everything in slow motion.

Disneyland Favorites

Little Princess – Haunted Mansion
Spiderboy – Splash Mountain and Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters
Little Monkey – playing in the water fountains
Mommy Forever – shopping
Daddy Forever – air-conditioned rides with short lines

Disneyland Photos

Little Princess and Spiderboy join The Incredibles.

Spiderboy guarding Pooh’s honey pots.

Cooling off in the pool.

Minnie Mouse adopts the Little Princess.

My son literally drove me crazy on the Autopia ride.

My little swinger at Tarzan’s Treehouse.

Spiderboy and dad saving the Galactic Alliance. Lookout Zurg!

The newest bug wearing her Bug’s Life 3D glasses upside down. So trendy.

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Three for One Special

Daddy Forever — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:01:17 +0000

Friday was the big day. No, I’m not talking about the last day of school or the release of The Incredible Hulk at a theater near you. Friday was the big birthday. As some of you know, my wife and two oldest kids were all born on June 13th. Three birthdays in one day. The Little Princess turned eight, Spiderboy turned five, and my wife still claims to be twenty something.

Normally my wife becomes insane, spends a million dollars, and throws a big birthday party. But this year she only spent half a million dollars and skipped the big party. Apparently, there’s a law prohibiting birthday parties on Friday the Thirteenth. Failure to obey the Friday the Thirteenth law will cause kids to act like demons. Right. Like my kids don’t already terrorize me every second of the day.

Instead of a big party, we took the kids to the zoo, then out to dinner, and finally back home for ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery. If it was up to me, I would have skipped directly to the ice cream cake. Yum. We actually have another surprise for the kids later this month (more on this later). The kids will flip when they find out. I’m excited too and I’m not sure how much longer I can keep the surprise a secret. If I wasn’t scared of my wife, I would have already told the kids.

Little Princess turns eight

Spiderboy turns five

And they say you can’t buy a rainbow

He’s five, but he still looks goofy

Most zoos have real animals like lions, tigers, and panda bears. But not our zoo. Our zoo is filled with man-eating dinosaurs. Why have real animals when you can have robotic creatures? The T-Rex scared the Little Monkey big time. The T-Rex was very menacing when it opened its mouth, flashed its fangs, and roared like the T-Rex in the Jurassic Park movies. There must have been a bass speaker somewhere because you could feel it roaring. Very impressive. That’s why I’m going to the animal shelter and adopt my very own T-Rex. And I’m going to name it Tweety.

Photo taken right before we were attacked

This is the T-Rex that scared our Little Monkey

Sometimes I think paleontologists like to mess with my head

What happened to the “Don’t Feed the Animals” sign?

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We Live in a Real City

Daddy Forever — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 07:01:29 +0000

We took the kids for a walk along the waterfront over the weekend. The kids have never been so close to the river before. The kids were so excited that they probably would have believed us if we told them this was their birthday present. Happy birthday kids! We bought you a polluted river. Now go jump in and have fun.

The city’s landscape has changed quite a bit since I was a kid in the 1700′s. We didn’t have a lot of skyscrapers back then. We still don’t, but we do have a more skyscrapers now than we use to have. We’re a real city now. The waterfront is a lot prettier than it use to be, but I’m not sure all the new skyscrapers is exactly a good thing. Can’t a city develop its waterfront without putting in a bunch of high rise buildings?

I have no idea why people say my son looks exactly like me

We could never afford to live in these condos

We tame dragons from our forests so we can hold dragon boat races

You’re not a real city unless you have a nuclear submarine

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Too Cute

Daddy Forever — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 08:00:07 +0000

Maybe it’s just me, but I think the Little Monkey is at the perfect age: two to three years old. Babies are cute, but all they really do is eat, sleep, poop, and cry. When they are one, they can walk, but they can’t talk clearly. I find it very frustrating trying to understand a one-year old. Do you want the apple? No, how about the orange? The fork? Oh, you want the knife. Ok, here you go. Trying to understand a one year old is very much like trying to understand a woman. You know what I mean. Don’t waste money buying me flowers on Valentine’s Day really means buy several dozens. And don’t buy me a big diamond ring because it’s too expensive really means buy it now or you won’t get any action. Ever.

I think ages two and three are just right. They are so cute at that age. I kid you not, every time I see the Little Monkey, I want to pick her up and kiss and hug her until she slaps me in the face and tells me to stop it. Even at the age of two, too many kisses and hugs from dad can be very embarrassing for a child.

The Little Monkey is also at the age when she can carry a conversation. I’ll ask her where’s my kiss and she replies with it’s outside. I’ll ask her how did it get out there and she tells me auntie put it there. One of the Little Monkey’s favorite questions right now is, why do you get to do that and I don’t? I tell her it’s because I’m bigger and she replies with, no, I’m bigger and you’re little.

Now for some photos of the Little Monkey:

My new haircut makes me look like a boy.

Just kidding, I’m still a girl.

This is the face I make whenever daddy tells me to smile.

Following in daddy’s footsteps.

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The Romantic Mother’s Day

Daddy Forever — Tue, 13 May 2008 07:01:16 +0000

Colleen, Queen of the Nuthouse, tagged me for a meme. I am suppose to post three random things about myself. I’m running out of things to say about me that I have not already blogged about previously. So, I’m going to write three things about our romantic Mother’s Day.

(1) Romantic Breakfast with 100 Strangers
We went out for breakfast on Mother’s Day. There was no way we were going to wait 1-2 hours for a table for lunch or dinner. We’ve done that before. With three young children, waiting 1-2 hours for a table would not be a treat for my wife. I might as well ask her to make us dinner, wash the dishes, and give me a back massage on Mother’s Day. That would really make her day.

(2) Romantic Trip to Target
After breakfast, I took my wife to Target. I know, I know, a mom’s dream come true. Why go to the mall and look at expensive jewelry when you can go shopping at Target. Do I know how to make my wife happy or what? The Little Monkey was very excited about Target too. That’s why she peed on the floor. And it wasn’t a little pee either. It was a flood. Clean up on aisle five!

(3) A Romantic Movie
After the romantic trip to Target, we watched a romantic DVD in the afternoon – The Justice League. Isn’t that great? We’re talking about Batman, Superman, Flash, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and Hawkgirl. Is there a mom out there who doesn’t get excited seeing superheroes in tights? OK, maybe my wife wasn’t excite, but she did get a little alone time while the kids learned how to pummel each other. Thank you Justice League.

So serious on Mother’s Day. Three kids will do that to you.

With these Hulk hands, I can pummel my brother.
But I have to pee first. Oooops. Too late.

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Just Add Love

Daddy Forever — Tue, 06 May 2008 07:01:18 +0000

My back went out again. I’m not going to bore you with another rant, other than to say I wish I could go to the body parts store and buy a back replacement.

Speaking of wishes, I think most dads and moms wish raising kids could be this simple:

Plant baby seeds
Water
Sprinkle some love
Nurture
Voila…

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He’s Leaving Me

Daddy Forever — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 07:01:41 +0000

Last Thursday, I took Spiderboy to kindergarten orientation. I hated it. First, they separated us as soon as we entered the prison. My son was escorted to the kindergarten cell and I was told to join the rest of the adult prisoners in Cell Block D. It was so exciting, I almost fell asleep. The Prison Warden went over the latest torture techniques, which I already knew (the Little Princess attends the same prison and my niece also served her sentence there when she lived with us). During the whole presentation, I was wondering if my son was tormenting the other inmates.

I’m going to miss the little guy when he starts kindergarten in the Fall. I’ll probably miss him more than I missed his older sister when she started kindergarten. Unlike the Little Princess, my son is still very attached to me. I’m at the center of his universe — the last person he sees at night, the first person he sees in the morning. When he goes to school, I will still be an important part of his life. But when he’s at school, it’ll feel like he has been transported to another universe — one where I don’t exist. And it’ll be full of rainbows, candy, and superhero action figures.

Don’t get me wrong here. I do want him to go to school, learn, meet new friends, and chase girls. And I do want him to grow up, start his own family, and experience the joys of fatherhood. Really, I do. But I also want him to always be the adorable boy that he is today. Weird, isn’t it? I want him to grow up and I also want him to stay the same. Can’t exactly have it both ways, can I?

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Easter Weekend

Daddy Forever — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:01:48 +0000

Did everyone have a good Easter? It wasn’t raining on Saturday so we took the kids to the park and then ditched them. But they left a bread crump trail and found their way back to our gingerbread house. So much for our quiet weekend at home.

Over the weekend, we also placed graffiti on eggs and hunted for candy-filled eggs. This makes me wonder, what does the Easter Bunny, eggs, and candy have to do with the resurrection of Jesus? Same deal with the birth of Christ and Christmas trees and presents. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not criticizing our traditions. I’m just curious how these religious events developed into today’s holiday traditions. But regardless of how it came about, our kids had a good time over Easter weekend.

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