The Perfect Gag Gift for the Twilight Infected

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I found this book at the library: Nightlight: A Parody by The Harvard Lampoon ($10.04). When I brought it home, my wife started jumping up and down because she thought I checked out a new Twilight book. And then I read the back cover to her:

Nightlight: A Parody by The Harvard LampoonAbout three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him – which I assumed was wildly out of his control – that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me. And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight. Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events (Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch and then Edwart saves her from a flying snowball) Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.

Boy was Mommy Forever pissed off. Some mommies just have no sense of humor. The Little Princess and I actually read Nightlight. It was so-so. At times it was funny, but most of the humor went over my daughter’s head (she’s only nine and doesn’t even know what a U-Haul is – Belle Goose’s truck in Nightlight).

There’s another Twilight parody at Amazon, but I couldn’t find it at the library: TwiLite: A Parody by Stephen Jenner ($11.65).

TwiLite: A Parody by Stephen JennerLove between a teenage girl and a vampire can be a beautiful thing. Then again, it can get a little ugly. Just ask Stella Crow. Stella is a clumsy but otherwise ordinary girl whose life takes a radical turn the moment she meets Edweird. Though perfect on the outside, Edweird Sullen is remarkably unrefined on the inside. He also happens to be a one hundred year old vampire, trapped in the body of a teenage boy, who has yet to finish high school. Nonetheless, Stella is unconditionally smitten with him. But not everything is rosy in this gloomiest of towns. Edweird’s enemies have sworn to put a tragic end to their romance. Against all odds, the bond between Stella and Edweird is nearly strong enough for their love to survive. Most love stories between an impossibly handsome vampire and an ungainly young woman have a magical ending. This one — not so much.

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12 thoughts on “The Perfect Gag Gift for the Twilight Infected

  1. I love this. How does one get in on give aways? My son’s girlfriend is so into twilight. He read the first book to impress her (silly boy). But, I know he would love this parody.

  2. This sounds like a very good book. I have not read any of the Twilight books, but with all the hype about them, I should still be able to ‘get’ the humor.

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