When She Was Young and Happy

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After burying my mom this morning, I’ve concluded people should never have to plan their parents’ funeral. When you lose someone like your mother or father, the last thing you want to do is talk to a complete stranger about the funeral arrangements. You don’t want to answer questions like: Would you prefer a metal coffin or a wood coffin? What is your mother’s favorite color? Do you think she would want to be buried in a pink coffin? You also don’t want to be presented with a billion different options for the funeral — especially when you’ve never been part of a funeral service before. Wouldn’t it be nice if a funeral service could magically plan itself?

My mom’s struggles with Alzheimer’s and dementia dominate my memories of her. It’s hard for me to come up with memories of her when she was happy. That’s why I was glad to find the photo of her below for the funeral. Not only is my mother smiling in the photo, she’s also young. I wish my mind was full of memories of mom when she was young and happy.

mother when she was younger

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19 thoughts on “When She Was Young and Happy

  1. I would say, display this photo prominently in your home. Look at it every day to remind yourself that at one time, your mother was young and beautiful and happy.

    I refuse to look at the last photos of my mother. That wasn’t my mom. The beaming, beautiful woman on her wedding day – THAT was my mom. Always and forever. And she’ll stay that way in my heart.

    Warm thoughts to you, my friend.
    .-= Desert Songbird´s last blog ..The Heretic Meme =-.

  2. Your mom was very beautiful. And yes, planning a funeral for a parent does stink. John had to do this for his father. Very tough.
    My Nana had dementia. It was very difficult to watch her do things like walk down the hall and forget that she was going to the bathroom. Or forget how to cook. She was a fabulous cook in her day.
    .-= peepnroosmom´s last blog ..La vida loca. =-.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear of your mother and hope you can be comforted during these tough times. I stumbled across your blog and wanted to connect to you. I’m a single dad who quit my corporate job to be at home with my daughter. I appreciate your posts and think it’s a great blog for me to refer back to. I’ve just started a blog called raisingafather.blogspot.com (named after a book I’m getting ready to publish) and I’d love to link to one another’s since we discuss many of the same issues parents face.
    .-= Arjun Sen´s last blog ..{Taking a Step Back} =-.

  4. Me, too. My FIL died suddenly, with no instructions (or will, for that matter). Having to plan a funeral when your world has just been rocked like that sucks. This taught me a lot. Now, I have a file on my computer called, “Stuff you’ll need in case I croak,” (seriously) It’s all there for Mr4444, should he need to know who is reading my eulogy, which music to play at the funeral, etc. LOL
    .-= Mrs4444´s last blog ..One Good Turn =-.

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