This is a strange post for me. It’s about shoes. I don’t think I’ve ever written about shoes before. I usually don’t even think about shoes. I just wear them. Sometimes with clothes.
Then something bad happened.
Before I tell you what happened, let me tell you my favorite shoes are Converse All Star. I loved them when I was a kid. I love them now. If I could have, I would have wore them with my tux when I got married (my wife can be so unreasonable at times).
In my expert opinion, Converse All Star are the coolest shoes on all nine planets in our solar system (I still consider Pluto a planet – dwarf planet my foot). How can you go wrong with shoes that feature a star on each shoe? And let’s not forget that Julius Erving (Dr. J) wore Converse All Star when he played in the NBA. For you younglings out there, Dr. J was the Michael Jordan of his time. If you don’t know who Air Jordan is, then try Kobe Bryant or LeBron James.
Below are a couple photos of my Converse All Star. The first pair is the one I wear when it’s not raining (I wear boots the other ten months of the year). The second pair of shoes is the one I wear when I want to dunk over Shaquille O’Neal, which I do often in Bizzaro basketball.
Now for the bad part of this story. About a week ago, the Little Princess went shopping with the weirdo-in-law. When she came back from the mall, she told me she got a pair of brand new Converse All Star. At first I was happy. Then she showed me her shoes:
How could they do this to my beloved All Star? It was bad enough when Target started selling low-end Converse One Star. Now my ultra cool shoes has been turned into girly shoes too. And they even have the nerve to still call them All Star. Shouldn’t they call them Converse Girly Shoes or something like that?