The Secret to Running a Jog-a-thon
I went to see my son run at the school’s jog-a-thon earlier this month. I was expecting him to wow me. After all, he inherited my athletic genes. Yes, the very same genes that enabled me to win twenty gold medals in Bizarro World. Take that Michael Phelps and your measly eight gold medals.
My son wowed me alright……by stumbling out of the gate. Seriously, he literally stumbled left and right during the first lap. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to wipe out the other kids or if he drank too much beer for lunch. I was actually amazed he could run an entire lap stumbling like a one-legged gingerbread man in heat and not fall face first into the grass.
By the end of the first lap, my wife’s son was in last place. It wasn’t even close. Luckily for him (unlucky if you ask him), it was a 20-minute jog-a-thon. After a few laps, the other kids ran out of gas and Spiderboy eventually passed them. By the end of the jog-a-thon, my son ran more laps than most of the other kindergarten kids. How about that. My son is a tortoise in a school full of hares.
Here are some running tips from my son:
Develop scrawny running legs
Constantly look behind you when you run
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Slow and steady finds success. Didn’t you know that? C’mon, Turtle, c’mon!
Read Desert Songbird´s recent blog post..Manic Monday – Shadow
I’m sure that was my son’s strategy from the start. He planned it that way. Right.
Ha! Nice tips. I’ll be sure to put them into practice. :)
Hugs,
Holly
Read Holly Schwendiman´s recent blog post..Something New
Follow his tips and you’ll win a bunch of medals in the next Olympics.
As an amature runner, I appreciated the tips. Especially the tripping and stumbling in the beginning. Works for me….
Read Mike´s recent blog post..Breastfeeding…?
The stumbling migth not work for adults. People will think you drank too much for sure.
How funny! He’s your wife’s son at the beginning and yours at the end? LOL
Read Mrs. C´s recent blog post..Woodjie Fashion!
You caught that. I was prepared to blame my wife’s DNA if he remained in last place.
At least he made it for the whole twenty minutes! I love how he changed parents during the story. My kids do that too! Obviously they get the good stuff from me and the annoying things from my husband!
Read peepnroosmom´s recent blog post..Spring Break.
That’s the deal I made with my wife. All the good stuff comes from my genes. All the bad stuff is from her side of the family. Sounds fair to me.
Hilarious! I love how you write. haha!
Read Virginia´s recent blog post..When Life Gives You Lemons…
My life is even funnier in real life.
You crack me up. You’re such a good writer and Good tips btw. I don’t run unless chased, but you never know…these might come in handy one day!!! ;)
Yeah, you never know when the tips will come in handy. Like being chased by a stalker in a parking lot or something. In case the tips don’t work, carry mace.
You know what they say: slow and steady. Great life lesson for him if you ask me
Read jessica´s recent blog post..Do you smell that?
It’s a good thing he can’t run fast. Otherwise, he would have burned out like most of the other kids.
That was funny! At least the effort was there. =p
Read Kay´s recent blog post..myDSL is so not fast
Awwwwwwwwwww that was a bit cute !
For what it’s worth…he does have the look of a runner….his hands are in a great postion !
Read Danielle´s recent blog post..When to really worry !