How to Break Your Back
Last Friday night/Saturday morning, my back went out on me. Yes, again. It’s my kids’ fault. I didn’t have back problems until I had kids. Now I have back problems all the time. When it comes to back problems, I am an expert. For those of you who have never had back problems, here are some expert advice for you:
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Carry your three year old daughter every chance you get. Avoid using the hips. Instead, hold her in front of you.
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Lift your almost six-year old son above your head with one hand. It’s also good practice for those of you into paired ice-skating.
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Throw your daughter in the air and catch her…repeat 20 times…with no rest. Try not to miss more than three times during the catching part of this activity.
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Reach down into the crib and pick up the baby using your back instead of your legs. Repeat six times a day.
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When your daughter wakes up at night, hold and carry her for 30+ minutes until she falls back asleep. Wear goggles if she’s the poke out your eyes type.
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When the baby wakes up at night, hold and rock him for a couple of hours. If you get bored, turn on the disco music and strobe light and dance the night away.
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This is why grandpas are so wise. They don’t do stuff like this. It’s too late by then, though. :]
Read Mrs. C´s recent blog post..Mom’s Quiet Time.
That’s my dad. He’s a firm believer in tough love.
Salonpas works for back aches. I hope you’re kinda kidding about the breaking part.
Read Kay´s recent blog post..things I am loving this summer
It’s probaby just a sprain or spasm. Either way, I slept a lot the last several days.
Where do I get one of those disco balls, anyway?
Read Mark´s recent blog post..It’s as if you were there…
You didn’t buy one during the disco craze? Good luck in finding one now.
Oh no! Your poor back! It’s OK, though, you only have about 6 more years till you can quit carrying your kids around. They are too big to carry at 6 aren’t they?
I don’t have to carry my eight year old anymore, but she does jump on my back when I’m lying down on the carpet.
Much the same reasons why I have bad hips right now; I always carried my kids on my hip.
Read Desert Songbird´s recent blog post..Manic Monday – Bird
Oh, I didn’t know you could wear out your hips during that. It’s a good thing I don’t use my hips.
The daddy back breaker list. The crazy part is you’d do it all again for the smile of your kids. *wink*
Hugs,
Holly
Read Holly Schwendiman´s recent blog post..Updates
So true. I love it when they wrap their arms around my neck.
Pffffft! At least you didn’t get backache from having to be pregnant 4 times! I bet your darling wife has a backache! I am sorry for you… really I am!
I still get bad backache….. but I don’t throw kids in the air anymore!
Read Chris H´s recent blog post..SHUSH, NO ONE SAY ANYTHING!
We would have stop with one kid if I had to carry the kids inside of me for nine months.
Oh Dear…Not good at all….nothing worse then a bad back….
Hope you feel a bit better soon x
Read Danielle´s recent blog post..In A Heart Beat….
Back is better, but somehow I hurt my neck today. I can’t turn it without pain. My body is falling apart!
Haha, great post, and I can certainly relate. It’s amazing that all parents aren’t completely disabled.
We’re back from Disney. Came by to say hello! Will try to do a post late tonight about the trip.
Read Kila´s recent blog post..Wednesday night…
Cool. I’ll come by soon to check out your Disney photos.
Your chiropractor must really love you….
Read Mike´s recent blog post..I’m Not Worried…
If only I could afford one.
my back hurts now.
Read jenx67´s recent blog post..A Gabcast: Searching for Solitude
You’re welcome.
owie. I’m feeling your pain lately with a big ol’ pregnant belly and lifting a heavy 2 yr old….my back ain’t what it used to be!!!
My wife knows that one. When she was pregnant, the three-year old wanted to be carried a lot. Actually, now she wants to be carried even more than before.
Oh and never, ever forget to let them hang around the bottom of your legs while you walk. Yeah, that is a good one, I gotta go, I think I need more Ibuprofen
Read jessica´s recent blog post..Ever Put BOTH Feet in Your Mouth?
I have the kid hanging on my legs problem too. Sometimes she even accidentally pulls down my shorts.
Your posts always give me such a chuckle; though my winging scapula is having sympathy pains.
I’m sorry, but this is very funny!! :)
Read Half-Past Kissin’ Time´s recent blog post..Weekly Winners: Relay Recap