The Butthead Mom
I might be overreacting here, but I was pissed off last Friday. The Little Princess was invited to another girly birthday party. We dropped her off at her friend’s house and was told by the birthday girl’s mom (let’s call her Butthead Mom) that the party will be over at six o’clock. We ran some errands and then went home. Right before 6 pm, we received a phone call from Butthead Mom telling us the party was running 30 minutes late. I thought it was a little strange that Butthead Mom would bother to call to tell us the party was going to end 30 minutes later than expected. After all, the party was at her house and we could just hang out there if we got there early, right?
Wrong!
As it turns out, Butthead Mom and another person drove the kids to an arcade. WTF? That was news to us. Butthead Mom never told us they were taking our girl anywhere. Not in the invite. Not when we dropped her off. Not when Butthead Mom called us. And not when we came to pick up our daughter. We might not have ever known if my wife didn’t notice the Little Princess’ shoes were not in the same place outside the door. She asked the Little Princess if she went outside and that’s when we found out about the trip to the arcade.
How can a parent take another person’s kid somewhere and not say anything about it? Just because I’m almost fine with dropping off my daughter for a party doesn’t mean it’s ok for someone to drive her around town without my permission. Keep in mind the Little Princess is only eight and we don’t know Butthead Mom very well. We’ve only seen Butthead Mom when she dropped off her girl at our parties and when we dropped off our daughter at their parties. If I had all the time in the world and if I wanted to torment myself, I would stay at the party and keep an eye on the Little Princess (we use to do this when she was younger).
We’re disappointed in the Little Princess too. She knows she isn’t suppose to get in a car with someone unless we tell her it’s ok. She should have called, but she didn’t. Actually, I’m not surprised she didn’t call. She’s doesn’t like to rock the boat. If all her friends hopped into a mini-van, then she’ll hop in too. She’s not the confrontational type and will never say something like: “Before you take me anywhere and possibly sell me as a slave, I need to ask my parents for permission first.”
Even though I have three kids, I’m still new to this parenting thing. So tell me, is it unusual for another parent to drive your kid somewhere without asking or telling you? We should have asked, but it never occurred to us someone would actually take off with our kid like that.
Oh yeah, we decided the Little Princess can no longer go to the Butthead Mom’s house. In the future, we also plan to ask other parents if they will be taking our kids anywhere. Maybe we should also ask if they will be handing out drugs, booze, or guns.
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This is outrageous. Leaving the property AT ALL with your child is just not right unless it was on the invitation and/or you were informed.
You watch, though. If Little Princess is going to someone else’s house, and you ask them if they have guns and/or are taking her to Mexico, the other parent WILL get insulted. It’s a shame we have to ask questions like this.
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Not insulting other parents is one of the reasons why we let our girl go the party w/o us there. They leave their kids at house so it would be insulting to insist on staying.
That mother was in the WRONG, plain and simple. Your child was released to her custody IN HER HOME ONLY, not for her to take her all over town without your permission.
If something had happened, you have had no clue as to where to begin searching for your child.
You should definitely tell this woman why you are upset. It seems she clearly has a value system deficiency. I’ll bet there were other parents from the party who also have an issue with this.
Oh, and as a rule, whenever my children go to a new friend’s house, I always ask if there are older siblings or weapons in the house. These questions sometimes startle the parents, but most of the time, they’re thankful that I’m so diligent.
And I always say if my kids have permission, or not, to swim in a pool.
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Thanks for reminding me swimming pools. Our kids can’t swim and I forget about that when ship them off on play dates.
I’m a father of two little girls ages two and six. I would feel the exact same way about the situation. Some people lack common sense in this case it’s Butthead Mom.
Glad I’m not the only one to feel this way.
I would be livid.
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You should have seen the steam coming from my wife’s head when she came home.
that’s totally crazy. I’m probably just a bit more paranoid since my friend had his son abducted (but returned, 4 years later) so leaving my kids (if I had any) at anyone’s house would require some serious leniency. but if they moved the kids to another location, i would totally be angered. don’t let the hulk out!
yeah you’re right to be upset. i don’t blame you. moving without notification, bad parenting.
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Sorry your friend’s son was abducted for four years. Glad he was returned.
Um yeah that’s not cool.
Hugs,
Holly
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Thankfully you realize that you daughter was too young to understand the issue. I have teenagers and still insist that they tell me EXACTLY where there going, and with who and if there will be parents around and what is there phone number.
If you don’t confront that Mom (who probably was clueless) than I’m driving up there myself and give her what’s left of my mind…
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Thanks for the offer, but that’s my wife’s job. I know from experience, you don’t want to get her mad.
You have every reason to be upset. In this day and age unfortunately you never know who is around the corner and as much as we would love to think everyone has the same “ideas and love” about and for our children as we do it is not so.
I would not worry about insulting the parents, she is your child and your responsibility. When someone has 15 children over at their house they cannot be as diligent as if they had one or two so go ahead and ask your questions!
My father would not let me spend the night with friends who parents were divorced when I was little (of course divorced parents were rare when I was little) before he met who was going to be there and what type of situation it was. I may have chomped at the bit about it then but I see his reasoning, love, and safety in it now.
Glad to see you are a parent who cares!
You’re right, it’s a good thing the decision isn’t up to kids. They may get upset about it now, but when they have their kids, they’ll understand.
The Butthead Mom was waaaay out of line. She had no right to take your child anywhere. I’d be pissed, too!
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And the arcade seems like an easy place to lose someone. Especially if you have a bunch of kids with you.
I’m just asking, but was this arcade at a mall? I freak out every time I think about it. Had you known, you could have gone to the arcade to help chaperone or something, but they didn’t even give you that option.
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I don’t think it was at a mall. If we had known they were going somewhere, we would have driven there and chaperone if needed.
It is not normal and it is not right. You have the right to feel indignant about it but I would sugest sitting down with the Butthead Mom to find out why she did what she did.
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Can I pummel her after we meet?
That was ABSOLUTELY wrong! She should not have done that. No way, no how. I understand how Princess felt, though. I was that way when I was a kid. I never rocked the boat and I would have done the same thing.
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We found out yesterday it a miscommunication problem. The birthday girl was suppose to tell our girl at school, but she didn’t.
I’m with you, totally NOT ON…. you should have been asked first. I am glad you are not letting your daughter go there again.
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I also think she was in the wrong. It’s one thing if you are close with the family. It’s another if you only speak to them for 3 mins up at the school yard and before/after a bday party. I’ve never heard of someone else doing that, the liability possibility for taking a bunch of little kids in the car is high…they should atleast ask you if its ok if they plan on taking ur kids life in thier hands…what if you KNOW they are a bad driver? oh the heart attacks!
That is so wrong of that Mother to take those children away. I would have been P*&&&ed right off.
For what it’s worth there are some real idiots out there posing as parents….
grrrrrrrrrrr….
Something similar happened to me: the butthead mom picked up my 2nd grader daughter after school without me knowing!!!
Not only that, I had never met the woman face-to-face, only through phone calls!!
She never called me either to tell me she had my kid!
I freaked out at the school, they searched the grounds and I was just about to call the cops - when someone at the school office, who had seen my girl play with another girl had called that girl’s mom.
Bingo, that’s where she was. When I asked the butthead about what the &^&$$ she was thinking, she told me “the girls wanted to play together” - no apology, nothing.
Butthead had 4 kids - you would think she’d have some common sense…
That’s even worst and I would freak out if that happened to me. I can’t believe that woman would pick up your daughter without even asking you first. I wonder how would she feel if you picked up her daughter without telling her.
ah yuk and double yuk …. you are so on the money here … what was the child adult ratio and she had NO BUSINESS taking those kids anywhere ….
Unlike others I would not bother seeing the mom and telling her the reality of the situation …. I doubt you would have a receptive audience ….
seeing she did it she would never get your position …. and it could make things hard at school for LP.
I would simply remove the out of school contact as you have suggested.
I now have 101 horror ‘what if’s’ running thru my head …. buggar !!
I hope mommy forever is calmed down - not good for the wee one - all that rush of adreniline … my best le
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She should have asked. (Not evil, but definitely buttheadish.)
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