You know how the food that you crave the most are usually the ones that make your butt bigger or give you a heart attack down the road. Well, that’s how the Oregon coast is. I love our coast. It is a very beautiful place. I love listening to the sound of the ocean, watching the waves come in, and looking far into the horizon. On a clear day, I can even see my long-lost cousin waving from China.
But if you try to take a swim in our ocean, you’ll freeze and have a heart attack (but your butt won’t get any bigger). Then your fingers and toes will fall off. And you won’t be able to have normal sex for a hundred years. I have no proof of this, but I think there’s an Alaskan pipeline that pumps freezing Arctic water into the ocean off of our coast and makes our water so cold that penguins and polar bears migrate to our beach for the winter.
I can only stand in the ocean for about a minute before my feet freeze. But my kids have no problem running around in the water for hours. How is that possible? Do kids have some sort of special ability that I don’t know about?
As you can probably guess, we went to the coast over the weekend. As soon as we got there, the kids all ran to the water. And within 15 minutes, a wave knocked the Little Monkey on her back and completely soaked her clothes. The water was only a few inches high, but it freaked her out anyway. She demanded to go home. But after we changed her and had lunch, she was back having fun in the water. A few hours later, another wave knocked the Little Monkey down again. This time, the Little Monkey dragged her big sister into the water too. Next year, I think we need to get wet suits.