Fear of the Taxman

Posted by Daddy Forever on Monday, March 17, 2008 : : 27 comments

IRS humorLike many people in the states, I received a letter from the IRS last week. I fear the taxman and my heart almost popped out of my chest when I got the IRS letter. Even though the words “Economic Stimulus” were printed in red, I was expecting some sorta of trick. You know, open up the letter and then see the words, “Surprise, we’re going to rip off all your fingernails, set you on fire, and then audit you.”

I have never been audited, but I fear an audit more than I fear having my kids raised by Britney Spears. I think most Americans fear being audited by the IRS too. Fear is probably one of the reasons the honor system sorta works when it comes to filing our taxes. Yeah I know, there are a lot of dishonest people out there. But if people didn’t fear the taxman, a lot more people would claim ice cream as a medical expense deduction.

Fear of the taxman also works with our kids. In our family, Mommy Forever is the taxman. She collects money from me and keeps our kids in line most of the time. If it wasn’t for the fear of mommy, our kids would cause the planet to implode and then laugh about it afterwards.

I always thought I would be the taxman in the family. You know, the Enforcer. Go ahead kid, make my day. But the kids don’t fear me. To them, I’m just a kid too. I wonder how they arrived at that silly conclusion. I’m the most mature person I know. And when my wife isn’t around, I wear the pants in the family.

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27 Comments

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Comment by 3D
March 17th, 2008 at 7:45 am

Tee hee…that is not fear that you are alone in. One that many have too.

Keep smilin!

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 6:11 pm

I guess that means you don’t deduct ice cream as a medical expense.

 
 
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Comment by peepnroosmom
March 17th, 2008 at 8:02 am

Fear of the Taxman is one many people have.
You already got your Stimulus check? No fair! I want mine. I have big plans for it. Hee Hee!

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 6:12 pm

No, not yet. I don’t the IRS is sending out the checks until May. The letter was just a reminder to file in order to get the rebate.

 
 
March 17th, 2008 at 10:21 am

I fear an audit ALMOST more than I fear the thought of eating poop. That was a VERY funny conversation.

I don’t know why I fear the taxman…I haven’t done anything wrong.

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 6:13 pm

I think the IRS is probably the one spreading rumors about how bad they are. You know, to make sure we continue to fear them.

 
 
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Comment by Mark
March 17th, 2008 at 10:38 am

If I feared the taxman to the extent my kids feared me I would wag my butt at him as he approached, never answer the door, ignore him at every request for information, and then weep for the neighbors to hear as he took all my possessions with him as he left.

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 6:15 pm

Don’t forget to turn the table on him and ask him all sorts of personal question. That would really be helpful in an audit.

 
 
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Comment by Desert Songbird
March 17th, 2008 at 10:58 am

It’s good that you have a healthy fear of your wife. Every husband should.

*grin*

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 6:16 pm

You should see all the scary faces she can make when she’s mad!

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Comment by Desert Songbird
March 18th, 2008 at 11:13 pm

Hell hath no fury like the rage of an Asian woman. At least, that’s what my dad, my brothers-in-law, and my husband all said/say!

 
 
 
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March 17th, 2008 at 2:27 pm

First, I love the photo on the right of the zoo life. ;) Second, taxes….ug. Here’s hoping your taxman fright is short lived and ends favorably. :)

Hugs,
Holly

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 6:17 pm

I’m not being audit. The letter was just one of those don’t forget to file reminder. A waste money because I filed online a month ago.

 
 
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Comment by Leslie
March 17th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

The first year I ever had to file taxes on my own, I was audited. It wasn’t a big deal. I hadn’t done anything wrong. Of course, I still completely freaked out over it. Basically, they gave everything a once over and said, “You’re all good!” That was it.

As for our family, I think Julia is our taxman. She enforces her will more than Dave or me!

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Our Little Monkey can be like that too. You should see her meltdowns when she doesn’t get her way.

 
 
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Comment by peepnroosmom
March 17th, 2008 at 6:47 pm

OK. Sorry about mistakenly thinking that you got your tax check. I got my notification letter in the mail today, also. But I still do have big plans for it.

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 8:08 pm

Not sure what we’ll do with our check. I don’t think we’ll get the full amount because we got a refund this year.

 
 
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Comment by tz
March 17th, 2008 at 7:43 pm

My kids laugh at me when I yell at them…I suck as an enforcer…I’d go broke as an IRS agent too because I’d fall for every down on their luck story and pay the taxes myself…

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 17th, 2008 at 8:07 pm

Wow, that’s real generous of you to pay other people’s taxes.

 
 
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Comment by Kari
March 18th, 2008 at 7:23 am

I always have that fear of being audited, too. When we went to have our taxes done this year, our accountant told us that she’s been doing taxes for 20 years and has only had about 8 audits that entire time. That made me feel a little better. Still, I freak out anytime we receive something from the IRS (my husband owned his own business, so we used to get things from them often).

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 18th, 2008 at 8:42 pm

I’m use to getting stuff from the IRS for my business, but not for my personal return. I think the IRS is messing with everyone by mailing out those reminders this year.

 
 
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Comment by Danielle.
March 18th, 2008 at 6:39 pm

Not only do I hate the tax man but I hate my accountant as well…

Take this years tax return….just 33 cents…
I’m not sure what annoys me the most….the 33 cents or the 4.50 it’s gonna cost me to bank it…

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 18th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

Reminds of those warranties that covers the product replacement but not the labor to replace it, which seems to cost more than what the product cost to begin with.

 
 
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Comment by Ann
March 18th, 2008 at 9:24 pm

Exactly. Same letter. Don’t like correspondence from the IRS in any way, shape or form. Gives me heartburn.

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Comment by Daddy Forever
March 18th, 2008 at 10:00 pm

But I bet you’re going to like the IRS rebate check in a few months. I know I will.

 
 
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Comment by Kay
March 23rd, 2008 at 7:34 pm

Luckily for us, we don’t have this in our country. But then again, maybe this is the reason why we are where we are. Hmmm …

 
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Comment by Sunrunner
March 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

You know between the IRS and the rip off that we call health insurance, I’m debating on moving to another country…

You know what’s scary? Having a woman doing taxes for not one, but many deputies and officer in the county, then one gets audited and all those people find out that she’d been committing fraud with their tax returns. Look up Colorado 9News - she just got indicted for over 50 counts of tax fraud. Luckily, my father in law does our taxes!

 
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