Kris (The Mad Race for Macey) tagged me for the 7 Weird Things About Me meme. [Question: Why do people think of me when they hear the word weird?]
(1) At least once a day, I call my kids by the wrong name. I really don’t know why. It’s not like I can’t tell them apart. And I do know their names. Really, I do. Maybe I should stick to hey you.
(2) I don’t flirt. I have never flirted. I don’t even know how to flirt. In fact, when people flirt with me, I don’t even know they are flirting with me. I say this because a friend of my wife stayed with us for about a week. After she left, my wife yelled at me for letting her friend flirt with me for the entire week. Honestly, during the whole time, I didn’t know she was flirting with me. I thought she was just friendly because she’s Canadian, ay.
(3) My wife and I sleep in different rooms. Isn’t that weird? I moved the Little Monkey out of the master bedroom so my wife and I could have the room to ourselves, but my wife went with the Little Monkey. And when my wife left, my son decided to move in. According to him, the master bedroom is his bedroom and his other bedroom is his playroom. Now, instead of snuggling with my wife every night, I snuggle with my son. I love my son, but snuggling with my son isn’t the same as snuggling with my wife. For instance, I recently woke up with a booger stuck in my hair. I never had that problem when I snuggled with my wife.
(4) When my wife use to sleep with me, she made me sleep on the right side because that’s the side closest to the window. Her theory was that if someone broke in through the window, they’ll kidnapped me instead of her. Ummm, our bedroom is upstairs and thank you for your concern, honey.
(5) If I wasn’t married, people might think I’m a monk. I don’t drink, smoke, or use bad words. But that doesn’t stop my kids from accusing me of using the “S” word — stupid. That’s right, stupid. In our family, stupid is a bad word. Earlier this month, the Little Princess heard me say Stupid Tuesday instead of Super Tuesday. So naturally, the Little Princess shouts out, “Mommy, daddy said a bad word!” Tattletale.
(6) I’m a very mature person. Really, I am. For instance, when my wife hurts my feeling, I tell her, “When I grow-up, I’m going to run away.” See how mature I am. Apparently, I’m also a good influence. Lately, the two youngest kids have been telling Mommy Forever they’re going to run away with me too.
(7) We’re not Buddhists, but we have Buddha statues all over the house. Personally, I wish we could replace all the Buddha statues with either life-size superhero action figures or Victoria Secret models.