Mari (Slowing Down) tagged me for the couples meme:
How long have you been together?
My wife has been torturing me for almost 12 years. I’m serving a life sentence.
How long did you date?
Mommy Forever chased me for over three years before I gave in and demoted her to wife.
How old is she?
About 5 1/2 years younger than me, but I will always be more immature.
Who eats more?
Normally I eat more, but on our first date, my wife ate more. She was actually a little pissed off at me because I was eating too slow at the buffet.
Who said “I love you” first?
Don’t remember, but she use to call me every night before she went to sleep and every morning after she woke up.
Who is taller?
She’s taller, but I’m wider.
Who is smarter?
Me, me, me. But my wife is smarter than me in some areas. Like shopping, fashion, and jewelry. To me, diamonds look like pieces of glass.
Who does the laundry?
Mostly her, but I do my own clothes and towels.
Who does the dishes?
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
Me, but my son is on the left side and my wife sleeps on a floor futon with the Little Monkey. No, this isn’t some sort of Asian custom. We’re just weird.
Who pays the bills?
I do, but my wife sometimes embezzle money from my wallet.
Who mows the lawn?
Me. My wife did once, but she got tired before she finished mowing and left the lawn half mowed.
Who cooks dinner?
The wife. I use to cook a few times a week, but my wife prefers meals that are edible.
Who is more stubborn?
My wife, but she probably thinks I am (she’s wrong…really).
Who kissed who first?
Don’t remember, but I was horny a lot.
Who asked who out?
Neither. We helped a friend of mine move. Afterwards, she and I went to dinner and a movie.
She did indirectly. She called me at work and told me she told her parents we were getting married. I would have asked eventually, but she didn’t want to wait a couple of centuries.
Who is more sensitive?
I’m more sensitive when it comes to things we say to each other, but she’s more sensitive when it comes to other people.
Who has more friends?
According to her, she doesn’t have any friends. But that’s not really true because she stole my friends from me. If my wife and I ever get in an argument in front of my friends, they would probably be on her side. Doh!
Who has more siblings?
Her. I have one bother (no, I didn’t spell it wrong) and she is the youngest of five.