Spiderman 3 comes out today, but it will be another six months before I see it on DVD. I rarely see movies at theaters anymore. When I do go, it’s usually a kids movie. It’s hard for me to enjoy grown-up movies at the theater because I feel guilty about leaving my wife at home with three little monsters. OK, it’s really because I’m afraid I’ll enjoy the experience too much. A night out with no kids. Grown-up conversations. No kids arguing. No whining. No Diaper Genie. I would never return home.
From the movie trailers, it looks like a variation of Venom will be in the movie. If I was going to be a villain, that’s who I would want to be: Venom. Look at him. He’s one scary dude. Even his tongue creeps me out. Give him Viagra and Venom could club someone with that tongue. What a wonderful role model for my son.
Now check out another of Spiderboy’s toy. It’s the Green Goblin. I know, he doesn’t look like the Green Goblin from the movies. He’s the Green Goblin from the comic books. Look at him. He’s wearing elf shoes and hat, ballet clothes, and a man purse. A MAN PURSE. Are we really suppose to be afraid of him? Lookout, there’s a mutant ballerina with a man purse! Run for your lives! Give him a tutu and his costume would be complete.