Live Long and Prosper


Another weekend, another trip to the hospital. Actually it was to urgent care, so it’s not going to cost us an arm and leg this time…just a big toe, both middle fingers, and the left ear. Needless to say, I’m not going to make up a name for my wife’s problem this time and get in trouble again. And don’t worry, I’m not going to whine again (well, maybe a little bit) so let’s move along to lessons learned.

Girls are party animals
We got home around 1:30 am and found all the boys asleep. Spiderboy was asleep in the playroom and the sitter and his teenager nephew were asleep in the family room. The little princess and the sitter’s 10-year old niece were still awake, playing, and laughing.

Don’t fall asleep with Princess M around
It appears the little princess has a sense humor. After Spiderboy fell asleep, she gave him a mustache and beard. I wonder where she gets her sense of humor from? Way to go Princess M! I think I’m going to cry.

boy sleeps and grows a mustache and beard

We never learn
Since we were going to urgent care, we figure we would only be gone a few hours. So we decided to take the toddler with us. Wrong! The ordeal took seven and a half hours. You would think we learned from our experience from last year. Medical problems are never just a few hours for us. This weekend, I also learned a cranky, tired toddler can cry at 8,937 decibels for hours (note: until now, 194 dB was believed to be loudest sound possible). Even after I walked 2,854.3 miles from the lobby, people were still peeking to see and hear the demon child scream satanic curses at me.

purple spock hand - live long and prosperFree souvenir
For what the voodoo doctors charged us the last two times we were in, I thought I might as well bring home a souvenir. That’s right, I stole a pair of purple gloves. The purple gloves totally make up for the $15,000 bill the hospital sent us. I was going to put them back, but I figure the next patient wouldn’t appreciate being examined with the same gloves I used to change the toddler’s diaper.

Coolest dad on the block
I plan on wearing my purple gloves in public. I know, most people — especially my wife — will think there’s something wrong with me. But for the demographics I’m targeting, I’ll be known as the cool dad with purple hands. Live long and prosper.


12 thoughts on “Live Long and Prosper

  1. The mustache and beard are hiliarious! Just wait until she starts having all of her friends over for slumber parties – you’ll see how crazy girls can get.

    Love the gloves. They’re pretty cool.

    I hope your wife is doing okay.

  2. Oh, you poor guys. I hope you’re done with hospitals and urgent care for a while. And good going on the souvenir, you couldn’t have picked a better one.

    And your princess is hilarious. A girl after your own heart, I’m sure.

  3. Those are valuable gloves; I’m sure the hospital would have billed you $467.23 for them.

    I am so sorry you’ve had to go through another hospital ordeal! I hope she’s feeling better.

  4. That photo of Spider Boy is great blackmail material (for both him and Princess M!). Love it!

    Those purple gloves are fun, fun, fun. I MUST have a pair of those.

    Hope Mommy Forever is feeling better.

  5. I hope Mommy feels better soon. I love the mustache, Princess! Way to go, girl.
    I cringe at the thought of the urgent care waiting room. Once you get in there, you are theirs to do with as they please and for as long as they please. It’s like time dosen’t exist to them.

  6. I know what you mean about the toddler…We’ve had similar experiences… Now if we even think remotely about a long visit ANYWHERE that might not interest the kids…. we leave them with the sitter… Ofcourse it’s not always possible… Luckily, we haven’t had anything urgent in the health or emergecy dept….

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