Grandma Returns Home
My mom was released from the hospital yesterday. She was hospitalized the same day Toddler K was hospitalized. Not the same hospital and for completely different reasons. My mom has dementia. According to Wikipedia, dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. In other words, her brain is quickly turning into mush.
This is actually the second time my mom has been hospitalized in less than a year. The first time she became so violent she bit my brother and somehow lost a tooth. This time it was semi-voluntary. My dad and brother committed her when she started acting up again.
I have never witnessed the violent part of my mom’s illness. When I see her once a week, sometimes she talks about someone stealing her money while she slept. Other times she just stares or her eyes starts watering up. I think she still knows who I am, but I don’t think she understand the kids with me are my kids…her grandchildren.
I don’t think my mom has had a good life. I think she was doomed from the day she was born. My grandparents were living in the US when they decided to visit China. My grandmother was pregnant with my mother at the time, but that didn’t stop them. Big mistake. My grandpa got very sick while in China so they stayed longer than expected. As a result, my mother was born in China and was not allowed into America. Immigration laws were very different back then.
My grandparents stayed with my mother for as long as they could, but they had seven other kids back in America. As a result, my mother was raised by a guardian while her mom, dad, and siblings lived on the other side of the world. She lived in China for over 30 years before she was able to immigrate to the US.
Now in my mother’s golden years, she has dementia. Instead of spoiling my kids, she struggles with remembering who I am… with who she is. No sir, I don’t think my mom has lived a good life at all. Not fair. Not fair at all.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. Dementia is a heartbreaking thing; it’s an excrutiating experience for the whole family.
It’s really not fair, is it? Life deals a really tough hand to some people, and unfortunately it doesn’t pick and choose. I wish it could be fair for everyone. There are a lot of people who deserve better than what they’ve been given.
I wish the best to your family as you struggle with this.
Stay strong for your kids and family, ok? I wish you well.