My Son and Mrs. Robinson

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About a week ago, I took Spiderboy to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. Little did I know my three-year old son was going to score. I’m not even sure how it happened. He was playing around the play area, going from one ride to the next. Sometimes he would even climb up into the tunnels above my head. One time, he was up in the tunnels for a very long time. I followed the tunnels until I saw him through a window. Spiderboy was hugging a girl in the tunnels. She was probably around five or six. I didn’t get her name, so let’s just call her Mrs. Robinson.

Down came Spiderboy on the slide. Down came Mrs. Robinson. They got on different rides together and played the games together. Mrs. Robinson would go left. Spiderboy would go left. Mrs. Robinson goes right and Spiderboy goes right with her……many times……while holding hands. They were all over the place. The other parents noticed and started making fun of me. “Oh look, Spiderboy is going out with an older woman, just like his dad.” What’s that suppose to mean? My wife is six years younger than me.

Spiderboy had no interest in going home. Luckily, Mrs. Robinson had to go home. I decided to go home too before he picked up another girl. The hosts gave Spiderboy a bucket of toys and we left. Mrs. Robinson was still outside in the parking lot. I thought, oh no. Mrs. Robinson said bye, but Spiderboy walked right by her without saying a thing. I told him to say bye and he said bye, but he didn’t bother to turn around to look at her. Spiderboy has new toys and no longer needs Mrs. Robinson. He used her and tossed her away. I did not teach him this; he was born with it. Hopefully, he will change his ways before he breaks a girl’s heart for real.

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