If they gave out awards for the worst daddy in the world, I would win it. No doubt in mind. Here are five reasons why I am a bad daddy — they are listed in no particular order: (1) My kids don’t have a cool web site, (2) I’m too mean, (3) I’m too nice, (4) I don’t spend enough time with my kids, and (5) I don’t earn enough.
1. Where’s the cool web site?
OK, I did create a simple Flash-based web site for my daughter, Princess M. But I didn’t create it until after she was one year old and I have not updated the site since then. All of the photo’s on her site are of Princess M when she was one year old or younger. She’s five now and will turn six in June. Even worst, I don’t have any pictures of Spiderboy (turns three in June) and Baby K (turns one in August) on the site. Even the graphics at the top of this page are of Princess M. I know this isn’t the end of the world, but I’m a web guru and a web guru is suppose to create a super cool web site for their kids. I’m a bad daddy.
2. I’m too mean
Yes, its true. I’m mean to my children. Actually, I’m mean to my oldest daughter. Sometimes when I’m working, my daughter would come into my home office to play computer games. She can’t find the game she wants to play so she wants me to help her. So, I have to help her find it. Then she needs me to install it. After that, she learns the game doesn’t work on her old computer or she doesn’t want to play that game anymore. Then she has to pick a different game and the process starts all over again. At some point, I lose my patience and I make my daughter feel bad for interrupting me from my work. Sometimes, I even yell at her. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My daughter is only five and I’m a little older than five. She doesn’t know any better, I do. When she comes into my office, I need to decide if I’m too busy. If I’m too busy, then I should just tell her she can’t play computer games right now. Otherwise, I should just take a break and help her instead of blowing my top. I’m a bad daddy.
3. I’m too nice
This is a flip side of being too mean. I know this sounds odd. How could I be too mean and too nice? Obviously I can’t be both at the same time, but sometimes I am just too nice. I guess a better way of phrasing this is, I can’t say no. Sometimes my kids want something or want to do something. I say no. But they keep asking me again and again and again and again and again (do you get it yet?). Or they start pouting or crying. So I eventually give in and say yes. I don’t generally have problems saying no to other people, but when it comes to my kids, I’m spineless. I need to say no, but I can’t. I’m a bad daddy.
4. Not enough time with the kids
You would think that since I am on the daddy track, I would be spending a lot of time with my kids. I don’t. I do spend more time now with my kids than when I worked full-time for a corporation, but I could and should be spending more time with my kids. My excuse, and its not really a good excuse, is that being a one-person company, I can’t delegate my work to someone else. No matter how hard or how long I work, there’s always more work that needs to be done. But what’s the point of being on the daddy track if I don’t get to spend a lot of time with my kids? I’m a bad daddy.
5. I don’t earn enough
I use to make a lot of money when I worked for someone else. Then the economy went deep south and I got laid off. So, I decided to work for myself and spend more time with my daughter (I only had one kid back then). I would spend most of the day with my daughter and took her to the park and zoo several times a week. Now I have three kids, a ton of work, little time, and not a lot of money. I know money isn’t everything, but in our society it helps. I feel bad I can’t take my kids to Disneyland and I feel bad that I don’t have any money saved for their college education. I’ve known for years that I should get off the daddy track and find a good paying job. But I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to stay on the daddy track until the kids were older and no longer considered me the center of their universe. I’m a bad daddy.
I finally started updating my resume and I am in the process of looking for a good paying job. Now I find myself wondering, am I a bad daddy for trading in the daddy track for money?